Monday, October 12, 2009

Guest List Drama

I have enjoyed all aspects of planning our wedding. I love looking at centerpieces, cakes, and all that other cute stuff. But now is the time when I am having the least fun with our wedding. And the reason why is the guest list and RSVPs. First of, in my culture people are not really used to RSVPing. We are still missing quite a few RSVPs (our reply by date was Oct. 1st) and it is time to make phone calls. That is gonna take up some time. Great. But RSVPs are necessary! I've been to weddings where there are not enough chairs for everyone and food runs out because more attended than they thought. I've also been to weddings were there are so many empty tables. I do not want my guest to stand and I do not want to pay for a bunch of guests that are not coming. Second, we were very specific on whether a person can bring a guest or not. Yes some people got 1's. However, they choose to write in their date which is their girlfriend/boyfriend. Really?! All these years I've never met your significant other. I've never seen her at the club or recent party, but now she needs to come to the wedding? How convenient. One means one people! We want this to be intimate. We want to be close to everyone there. Not "Hi nice to meet you!" Plus this is very expensive and I don't feel like paying for your guest I've never met when I can add another friend that I actually do know and have not been able to invite. And that is just plain rude. I mean I wish these people would ask us first, so we don't have to do the uncomfortable phone calls/e-mails, "No sorry your cousin's wife's co-worker can't come." Our third problem is that people are asking to be invited to the wedding. Talk about awkward. Like straight up "Hey am I getting invited to your wedding?" or "If you have room I'd love to get squeezed in." Although it is flattering that people want to attend our event, talk about pressure. And there are those that genuinely want to see us get married and then there are those that just want to attend a party. Oohh the people in that second group make me mad! It is so just not a party. The ones that bother me the most are the ones that we haven't heard from in years and all of a sudden they magically re-appeared in our lives now that the wedding is near. I mean literally we have not spoken to them at all, and the only reason they even know we are getting married is because Mr. DJ works at a local radio station and our wedding was announced and discussed on air by his co-workers. Oh did the phones start ringing! Oh and by the way some of those phone callers are now married too! But we didn't get invited because you know theirs was just a small civil wedding. So why would I then be eager to invite you to my wedding? It might not be civil, but hey we are trying to keep it under control too. I think I have my half of the guest list under control, but Mr. DJ he needs to get jumping on his.
Sorry everyone, I just needed to vent =) Any advice for us?


  1. Oh man you got me all riled up! I can totally relate to all of this. Why do people think it's ok to invite themselves or extra guests, and no it's not okay either to send a response card late after we asked them ever so kindly to respond by a certain deadline. ugh! We started calling people this past weekend to ask them wtf, and it is definitely awkward. I feel your pain.

  2. That is too funny! We went through the same thing girl. We decided that "singles" were allowed to bring a date so that person gets two seats at the reception for their bf, gf, grandma, best friend, mom, whoever. Because realistically nobody wants to go to a wedding by themselves. It will all be fine, don't stress too much.

  3. I can totally relate! That was by far the worst part of all of the wedding planning! Never receiving RSVPs, having to track ppl down, and i couldn't even believe how a few people showed up without RSVPing. I thought they had fallen off the face of the earth. And then to show up out of the blue and not bring a gift?!?! unbelievable...sorry i'm getting all riled up again...
    anyway, really try to relax about it and not stress too much. it all works out in the end and you'll have a blast and forget all about it. until someone reminds you a few months later :)